Instead, he uses them as rainbow sprinkles on a fairly bland cake. More than once I found myself wishing that Ben-Ze’ev had either just compiled the quotes and let them speak for themselves, or that he had done more to engage with the particularity, humor, and range of their various voices. But it often feels less like a relationship guide or academic monograph and more like 278 pages of Wikiquote search results on love interrupted with occasional philosophical digressions.
The Arc of Love is billed as a philosophical account of love with real-world relevance - a work of self-help for people who prefer their relationship advice to have gone through the peer review process at the University of Chicago Press. Each of the epigraphs in this review is taken from the book.) (To better convey a sense of the reading experience of The Arc of Love, this review follows its short sub-sections-with-epigraphs style. With the exception of the fake Wilde quote, all the quotes tend to be far livelier than the surrounding prose. There are also 34 epigraphs from a person or persons referred to as “A MARRIED WOMAN,” who opines on matters ranging from online relationships to orgasms. In addition to four quotes attributed to Wilde, the book contains two from Joan Rivers, three from Marilyn Monroe, four from Zsa Zsa Gabor, and five from Mae West. (A sample paragraph from “Being a Good-Enough Partner” juxtaposes contrasting sayings from Carrie Bradshaw and Confucius.) Amid the deluge of maxims by luminaries from Jane Austen to Rodney Dangerfield, certain names pop up repeatedly. Each of the many short, separately titled sections in each chapter (sample sections: “What Do Singles Really Want?” and “How Soon Should Widows Fall in Love Again?”) has at least one epigraph, sometimes two, and the text in each section often contains further eclectic quotations that are dropped in just for flavor or illustration. This counterfeit Wilde-ism is one of the countless quotable quotes that make up a high percentage of the word count of The Arc of Love: How Our Romantic Lives Change Over Time by philosopher Aaron Ben-Ze’ev. Wilde’s whole epigram formula and raison d’être was to turn conventional wisdom on its head, especially with regard to love. Above all, it’s fake because it’s a cliché. He would be the last person to articulate a philosophy of romantic love that disavowed beauty or style. But more than that, it’s a misattribution because if anyone was going to love someone for their looks or clothes, it would be Wilde. On the most obvious level, it’s a fake quote because Oscar Wilde died in 1900, when cars were extremely rare (though as points out, Oscar Wilde did once get to see a friend’s automobile, remarking that “they, like all machines, are more wilful than animals - nervous, irritable, strange things”). “Be yourself everyone else is already taken.”ĭid we miss one of your favorite Oscar Wilde quotes? Please share it with our readers in the comments below.You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear. “Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.”ġ0. “Everything in moderation, including moderation.”ĩ. “Always forgive your enemies nothing annoys them so much.”Ĩ. “If one cannot enjoy reading a book over and over again, there is no use in reading it at all.”ħ. One should always have something sensational to read in the train.”Ħ. “With freedom, books, flowers, and the moon, who could not be happy?”ĥ. “Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary.”Ĥ. Then, and then only, does it come into existence.”ģ. One does not see anything until one sees its beauty. “To look at a thing is very different from seeing a thing. “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”Ģ.
There’s so much truth and beauty to be found in the thoughts and feelings beneath the clothes.ġ. Perhaps that’s what bored Wilde about a magazine focused solely on fashion. I think that Bella Grace readers, had we been around in 1886, would have appreciated that.īeneath Wilde’s humor is a deep connection to both truth and beauty.
#Love oscar wilde quotes free
His witty, irreverent style reminds me that life is best lived free from the obligation to be what the world thinks you should be.ĭid you know that Wilde once served as the editor of a women’s magazine? It was called The Woman’s World, and Wilde significantly improved its success by implementing changes so that the publication would “deal not merely with what women wear, but with what they think and what they feel.” He writes with a confidence that’s contagious. I’ve always admired poet and playwright Oscar Wilde.
Life is best lived free from the obligation to be what the world thinks you should be.
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